Doubt that Ophelia had an attic, although that wouldn't be out of keeping with Hamlet and the general theme of depression. I'm assuming that won't be the tone of this blog, however. Unless things go horribly wrong...

29 December 2006

Mayor Uses Public Transport - Exclusive!

Okay, I actually have something interesting to record today.

Was coming back from Finchley Road on the Jubilee at about four. Opposite me was a grey-haired man with two small children and two teenagers. He had his coat pulled up over his face - one of those snowy weather big collar jobs. He also had the most awful cold (watching Mrs Henderson - think I've picked up her diction). Anyway, thought this odd, particularly as the half of his face that I could actually see looked a lot like Ken Livingstone.

He was eventually left with the two near-toddlers, one of whom was immersed in a book, the other had a snit and threw hers on the floor. Anyway, I've just looked up his kids' names and it turns out that it actually was Red Ken! Having a 2-year old daughter called Mia is reasonably distinctive.

Question is, what the hell was he doing using public transport to get to Willesden Green? Nice to see he thinks he needs to disguise himself, though.




14 December 2006

More fun with the 1901 census

238 Harry Potters
23 Stephen Frys
2 Hugh Lauries
1 Jonathan Ross
300 + James Bonds
1 Victoria Pollard
29 Margaret Thatchers
5 Antony Blairs (all, oddly, from Allithwaite in Lancashire, aged between 0 and 66)
24 George W. Bushes
109 Bridget Joneses
300 + Elizabeth Bennetts
29 David Reeces

12 December 2006

Because I clearly have nothing better to do (feel free to steal - I did)

1. WHAT CURSE WORD DO YOU USE THE MOST?
Bugger, probably, when I lower myself to swear in English, of course.
2. DO YOU OWN AN IPOD?

Nope, but I do have a 2-year old Sony Walkman, which is clearly superior. It contains the only music I can tolerate first thing in the morning.
3. WHAT PERSON ON YOUR LIST DO YOU TALK TO THE MOST?

Don't understand this. Given that the only people who read this are Dave and Des, though, I'd have to say them.
4. WHAT TIME IS Y0UR ALARM CLOCK SET TO?
6.25 (which gives me 35 minutes to get ready before leaving the flat. I'm not a brekker person).
5. DO YOU STILL REMEMBER THE FIRST PERSON YOU KISSED?
Vividly. Never mention it again. France has a lot to be sorry for.
6. DO YOU REMEMBER WHERE YOU WERE ON 9/11/01?
If you mean 11/09/01, I was at home, not at my summer job for once, watching the telly. My automatic reaction was flippancy - some kind of defence mechanism, I think.
7. WOULD YOU RATHER TAKE THE PICTURE OR BE IN THE PICTURE?
Take it, unless the picture is very flattering.... so take it, basically.
8. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
By the time I've finished this, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. The last film I went to see at the flicks was Stranger than Fiction at the weekend.
9. DO ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS HAVE CHILDREN?
Yep. F has a small daughter, whose name means moonlight.
10. HAS ANYONE EVER CALLED YOU LAZY?
Not so that I believed them.
11. DO YOU EVER TAKE MEDICATION TO HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP?

No, but I've thought of doing so, especially when the fuckwits in no. 10 leave their door to bang or have I'm a Celebrity on at top volume.
12. WHAT CD IS CURRENTLY IN YOUR CD PLAYER?
There actually isn't one in there at the moment. The last one was Bellowhead's album, Burlesque.
13. DO YOU PREFER REGULAR OR CHOCOLATE MILK?

Regular milk. Chocolate milk mings.
14. HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU A SECRET THIS WEEK?
15 year olds regularly tell me secrets. Doesn't mean I want to hear who they'd like to sit next to because they fancy them. Earplugs necessary.
15. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD STARBUCKS?

Sunday, before seeing the film mentioned in question 8. Gingerbread latte - mmmm.
16. CAN YOU WHISTLE?
I say yes, everyone else says demented tea kettle.
17. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Height, accent, risk of gayness.
18. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO?
The Christmas holidays and seeing Jamie at the weekend.
19. DID YOU WATCH CARTOONS AS A CHILD?
He-Man, She-Ra, Dogtanian, Willy Fogg, Thundercats, Ewoks, Cities of Gold, Gummi Bears... so yeah, basically.
23. DO YOU OWN ANY BAND T-SHIRTS?

I'm very pleased with my Sawdoctors one.
24. WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING IN ONE HOUR?
Probably trying to get hot water to come out of my shower.
25. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
If anyone is, they haven't told me. All men are bastards, anyway.
26. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU HEARD?
Something from City of Angels that I was listening to this morning.
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Was quite overwhelmed by the preview clips of the Choir in China next week. Yes, I know it's smirkworthy.
28. ARE YOU ON A DESKTOP COMPUTER OR A LAPTOP?
Laptop, gifted unto me by school.
29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY WANTING ANY PIERCINGS OR TATTOOS?
No.
30. WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?

Dunno - it's dark. Cold, though, and doesn't seem to be raining.
31. WOULD YOU EVER DATE A GIRL/GUY COVERED IN TATTOOS?
No.
32. WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE THIS?
Marked a pile of alternately illiterate and rather amusing yr 8 moral stories. Why do all children name their characters Bill or Bob?
33. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU SLEPT ON THE FLOOR?

Probably visiting Helen in Oxford at some point.
34. HOW MANY HOURS OF SLEEP DO YOU NEED TO FUNCTION?

More than I get. I was in a foul mood this morning.
35. DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST DAILY?
If you class a sandwich at 10.45 as breakfast, then yes.
36. ARE YOUR DAYS FAST-PACED?
Children come in, children go out, go to photocopier, eat sandwich, control chaos, sort out someone's computer, go to a meeting.... yah.
37. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
Watched telly and marked stories. Not that there's a pattern or anything.
38. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
No, of course not.
39. HOW OLD WILL YOU BE TURNING ON YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY?

25
40. ARE YOU PICKY ABOUT SPELLING AND GRAMMAR?
Yes. I think people who can't use apostrophes properly should be taken out and hanged.
41. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO SIX FLAGS?
Huh?
43. DO YOU GET ALONG BETTER WITH THE SAME SEX OR THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Both.
44. DO YOU LIKE MUSTARD?

Hell, yeah. Especially Dijon.
45. DO YOU SLEEP ON YOUR SIDE?
I think so, although I'm asleep at the time, so I might not.
46. DO YOU WATCH THE NEWS?
In the morning, if I have time. I do get a bit fed up of the Beeb's obsession with store cards, recycling and police dogs, though.
47. HOW DID YOU GET ONE OF YOUR SCARS?
Ex-boyfriend's big toenail (circular scar on my right big toe).
48. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU MAD?

You mean today? A colleague who called me away from what I was doing saying her computer wasn't working, when in actual fact all she'd not done was switched the sound on.
49. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
In what sense do you mean 'like'? If you mean in the romantic sense, it's not even worth bothering. All men are bastards. Mmm... apart from our lovely new trainee...
50. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU PURCHASED?

A travel cage for the hamster, so he can come home with me over Christmas.

10 December 2006

Amusing results from the 1901 census

Firstly, there were six Oscar Wildes recorded in 1901, all young enough to have been named after the famous one!

Secondly, two Bertie Woosters (aged 4 and 6) and three Reginald Jeeveses (all under the age of 12) are recorded.

01 December 2006

Friday

Have been given the job of entertaining the children on the last day of term. Luckily, this doesn't involve dressing up and playing the xylophone. Well... not me, anyway. Have been in a frenzy since Tuesday advertising the auditions, trying to find two kids to host the damn thing (succeeded) and organising the staff contribution, based on Grease.

See, now I wanted the Sound of Music, complete with goatherds and nuns, but the majority voted for cross-dressing and hair gel. However, our bald, male Sandy should be amusing. Must listen to the Grease Megamix and see how long it is.

In addition to this, my lunatic form have decided they want to hold a nativity play (these are 15 year olds, for God's sake!) and an animation festival. I handed over the Christmas tree to them to make. A crack team of three 'tree boffins' managed to decipher the colour-coded individual branch attaching instructions and make it look reasonable in a mere 30 minutes.

See how much I'm enjoying our collective day off, given the circumstances?