Today, I'm 24 and 5/12. Fancy that.

What I have to do to make sure I get enough sleep to function:

• Put the hamster in the bathroom and block any drafts.
• Turn the heating down.
• Not drink coffee past about nine.
• Not think about school.
• Be able to see the time when I do wake up, so I don't stress about not getting up in time.

Actually, I really need to get the hamster out so I can clean out his cage, but he's asleep. No wonder - he's probably worn out by all the gnawing he did last night on the bars.

When the rain clears up (the BBC weather forecast seems to not know about it), I must go across the road and see if I can procure a Christmas tree that my form won't sneer at. They get more ambitious every year.