Knackered. The problem with assuming that a job is yours to do is that you end up doing it. Still, so long as we keep all the stuff from the displays for next year, it shouldn't be such a problem in the future. Spent this morning (very early) backing up titles for the main display board. Was awake even earlier, thanks to Obnoxious Flatmate thumping around on his way out to a job trial in the City. He's very fortunate I didn't go out and yell at him in the manner my mind was considering.
Managed to get every parent tour group coming into my classroom to have a look. Suspect someone bribed the prefects to make my life hell. Ignored them for the most part and continued entertaining Year 8 with tales of heroes.
27 September 2005
25 September 2005
Tiny update
Hurray! Contact! Lyull's coming to lunch on the 8th. This is excellent, because obnoxious flatmate will probably be at work. Even if he's not, I can get rid of the both of them more easily than I could have done in the evening.
Carefully chosen subject of invitation postcard (our mutually favourite painter) was noticed, so brownie points to me! Now have to work out what to feed him...
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Carefully chosen subject of invitation postcard (our mutually favourite painter) was noticed, so brownie points to me! Now have to work out what to feed him...
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Waiting for the bathroom floor to dry
Reader, I'm hungover. Ugh. Rum's being added to my list of drinks I'm never imbibing again. Had a total transport crisis on the way home from Jamie's housewarming party last night. Was quite a merry party, actually, totally overpopulated by people from our College, most of whom I hadn't seen since graduation. Nevertheless, spent much of the time talking to Andy the Dentist, Jamie's friend from school. Was instructed to examine the cut on his chin, received reparing the damage done in some kind of accident. Usually consider him quite boring, but he improves with alcohol. May have kissed him on the cheek when I left. Can't remember.
Anyway, the transport crisis. Half the tube was up the spout, as per, so attempted to walk to the nearest station that was actually open. Got horrendously lost, ended up at another station which wasn't open and then somehow boarded a bus that happened to stop at Baker Street. Decided the Bakerloo was at least heading in the right direction. Had a very odd conversation with an Irishman, who insisted on shaking my hand three times and saying slainte a lot. Suspect this frightened the man slumped next to me. Having reached the end of the line, first got lost coming out of the station (don't ask), then realised there were no taxis and my mobile had run out of credit. Resorted to what anyone would do in such circumstances and panicked. Was rescued by my beloved mother and taken back to the parental domain. Have only just got home (another taxi driver: two children out of school, one still in) and still feel icky.
Worse: STILL no messages from Lyull, despite answerphone. Bounder.
Anyway, the transport crisis. Half the tube was up the spout, as per, so attempted to walk to the nearest station that was actually open. Got horrendously lost, ended up at another station which wasn't open and then somehow boarded a bus that happened to stop at Baker Street. Decided the Bakerloo was at least heading in the right direction. Had a very odd conversation with an Irishman, who insisted on shaking my hand three times and saying slainte a lot. Suspect this frightened the man slumped next to me. Having reached the end of the line, first got lost coming out of the station (don't ask), then realised there were no taxis and my mobile had run out of credit. Resorted to what anyone would do in such circumstances and panicked. Was rescued by my beloved mother and taken back to the parental domain. Have only just got home (another taxi driver: two children out of school, one still in) and still feel icky.
Worse: STILL no messages from Lyull, despite answerphone. Bounder.
24 September 2005
23 September 2005
A surfeit of blue cheese
Hurray, for 'tis Friday.
Ahhh - look at my mobile sitting there quietly on the table. It's almost a miracle it's there. It must've slipped out of my pocket when I got to the other school I teach at (for all of an hour a week) and I couldn't find it when I finished. Started walking home, determined to ring the taxi company.
(Talking of which, learned the entire life story of my driver on the way there. He was in the police for 32 years and was educated by nuns before that, who later offered to teach him Russian.)
Found a note on the mat when I got in from ma mere. Apparently, a small boy from said school picked my phone up and took it home to his grandmother, who rang my mother, who picked it up. Amazingly lucky.
No contact from Lyull. Not impressed.
Ahhh - look at my mobile sitting there quietly on the table. It's almost a miracle it's there. It must've slipped out of my pocket when I got to the other school I teach at (for all of an hour a week) and I couldn't find it when I finished. Started walking home, determined to ring the taxi company.
(Talking of which, learned the entire life story of my driver on the way there. He was in the police for 32 years and was educated by nuns before that, who later offered to teach him Russian.)
Found a note on the mat when I got in from ma mere. Apparently, a small boy from said school picked my phone up and took it home to his grandmother, who rang my mother, who picked it up. Amazingly lucky.
No contact from Lyull. Not impressed.
19 September 2005
Very warped day
Had probably the most peculiar lesson ever recorded this morning. Having read the part of the Cyclops in the voice of Goldmember from Austin Powers ("my fazhher, Poseidon"), Chief Toerag launched into the Oompaloompa song, accompanied by full backing chorus. Surprisingly, this was in tune and very authentic. He then demonstrated his own version of "wake me up when September ends", altered to be "wake me up when the lesson ends".
Came into afternoon registration to discover my form have invented their own imaginary friend. Tom seems to write on the board and answer the register. They've finally gone mad, even by my tolerant standards. Still, makes a change from them planning how to conquer the world, beginning with Luxembourg and Figi.
Apparently teachers laugh nine times every hour. Think I managed a hell of a lot more than that today.
Came into afternoon registration to discover my form have invented their own imaginary friend. Tom seems to write on the board and answer the register. They've finally gone mad, even by my tolerant standards. Still, makes a change from them planning how to conquer the world, beginning with Luxembourg and Figi.
Apparently teachers laugh nine times every hour. Think I managed a hell of a lot more than that today.
18 September 2005
Marking is just so much fun
Jamie had one of his hangovers that takes the entire day to get over yesterday, so the evening was rather less exciting than I'd expected. Hmm. He never did get round to telling me why G.A.Y. had been so amusing. Forgot to ask. I came home and watched Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which I'd luckily finished before Obnoxious Flatmate got home and wanted to know what the hell the dolphins were doing. Marvin Hangman is fiendishly hard, for those of you who haven't tried it.
Having my hair cut yesterday got me thinking about something. I've always thought that the huge amount I pay to have said hair shorn is worth it simply for having my hair washed and head massaged. That's definitely something I'd have done every day if I could. Spent the journey to Jamie's thinking about other things (that don't come under the obvious food, air and sex) that would be totally acceptable if they happened every day:
1. Having head massaged.
2. Five minutes of absolute silence.
3. Buying a new dvd/book (and not running out of money).
4. Being whisked off feet by a tall and gorgeous man (who would then probably pull a muscle).
5. Watching something absolutely hilarious.
It's difficult to think of things one wouldn't get bored of after a while. Today certainly hasn't been full of these things. I've been marking coursework since I got up. Very smug to find that Mr Overconfident has arsed up big time. That'll teach him not to listen to the audio guide on school trips. Jamie texted to apologise for being pathetically ill, which was unexpected. Still haven't decided how to arrange dinner with Lyull. That word reminds me of seagulls.
Hm.
16 September 2005
Woohoo!
New Harry Potter trailer's out! Looks utterly amazing.
http://movies.aol.com/movie_exclusive_harry_potter_goblet_clip/trailer_extra_large
http://movies.aol.com/movie_exclusive_harry_potter_goblet_clip/trailer_extra_large
15 September 2005
Discrimination Support Group
There's a minority group in the world that's unsupported by campaign groups and never features in the media. For many years, I thought I was alone in suffering from the condition until I found others of my kind. It's time we stood up against ignorance and obscurity. PHOTIC SNEEZERS UNITE!
Direct light (not only sunlight) makes me sneeze. The photic sneeze reflex (PSR) affects maybe one in eight of the population. Apparently, the cause is a cross-connection between the tear ducts and the nose, irritating the latter and causing one to sneeze when the eyes moisten in bright light. Basically, our faces are confused. Actually, it's not an unuseful characteristic: when you really want to sneeze, the solution is readily available.
But have you ever come across any fictional characters who're also photic sneezers? Any celebrities confessing that lightbulbs cause them to pull out their hankies? Any reality shows where participants are exposed to amusing types of light for the entertainment of the viewing public? No! We are neglected and ignored.
Anyone else out there?
Direct light (not only sunlight) makes me sneeze. The photic sneeze reflex (PSR) affects maybe one in eight of the population. Apparently, the cause is a cross-connection between the tear ducts and the nose, irritating the latter and causing one to sneeze when the eyes moisten in bright light. Basically, our faces are confused. Actually, it's not an unuseful characteristic: when you really want to sneeze, the solution is readily available.
But have you ever come across any fictional characters who're also photic sneezers? Any celebrities confessing that lightbulbs cause them to pull out their hankies? Any reality shows where participants are exposed to amusing types of light for the entertainment of the viewing public? No! We are neglected and ignored.
Anyone else out there?
12 September 2005
Gradual disintegration
Tits up doesn't even begin to cover it.
Remember how I said I'd been out on Friday with lots of other people who teach the same subject as me and couldn't remember much about it? Well, I'm starting to think I might have embarrassed myself a lot more than I thought, judging by the understanding grin my head of department's been giving me all day. If that wasn't bad enough, I committed the ultimate faux pas this evening by ringing long-term yet unrequited love of life (to be shortened henceforth to Lyull) during the last hour of the fifth test. Having been instructed to ring back later, he then didn't answer the phone the two times I tried, having checked the tv magazine first this time. Wanker.
What pisses me off is that he tends to wait for the answer phone to click on before he answers at all, so he can see who's ringing. This means (if you know he does this) you end up burbling for a couple of minutes waiting for him to pick up, meaning that you don't have time to leave a proper, coherent message once you've realised he's actually not there at all.
Jamie thinks it's funny. Have to admit, life is a bit like something out of Bridget Jones at the moment. The best thing was the cricket result - the urn is ours!
Remember how I said I'd been out on Friday with lots of other people who teach the same subject as me and couldn't remember much about it? Well, I'm starting to think I might have embarrassed myself a lot more than I thought, judging by the understanding grin my head of department's been giving me all day. If that wasn't bad enough, I committed the ultimate faux pas this evening by ringing long-term yet unrequited love of life (to be shortened henceforth to Lyull) during the last hour of the fifth test. Having been instructed to ring back later, he then didn't answer the phone the two times I tried, having checked the tv magazine first this time. Wanker.
What pisses me off is that he tends to wait for the answer phone to click on before he answers at all, so he can see who's ringing. This means (if you know he does this) you end up burbling for a couple of minutes waiting for him to pick up, meaning that you don't have time to leave a proper, coherent message once you've realised he's actually not there at all.
Jamie thinks it's funny. Have to admit, life is a bit like something out of Bridget Jones at the moment. The best thing was the cricket result - the urn is ours!
11 September 2005
Persona non grata... so it seems
I delayed getting up this morning. Having decided to speak to slightly saner female housemate about her obnoxious boyfriend's outburst last night, I was waiting for him to go out to work. She, however, is apparently not speaking to me. Can you imagine that these two are nearly thirty? How is this such a big deal? Some of you will remember my entries when their families were here - I might blog-moan, but I didn't say anything at all to them. I think I've been bloody accomodating these last five and a half months. Thought I might've bought myself some credit, e.g. for an undisturbed romantic dinner for two (see yesterday's first post). Buggered that up, it seems.
Cricket's going reasonably. They've just rained them off for a bit. Maybe someone will injure Shane Warne during the interval. Wouldn't that be a shame?
Cricket's going reasonably. They've just rained them off for a bit. Maybe someone will injure Shane Warne during the interval. Wouldn't that be a shame?
10 September 2005
Stunned.
Jesus. Said obnoxious flatmate's just stormed in and yelled at me for apparently spoiling their evening. WTF?? I was under the impression I lived here too.
Die, flatmates, die!
Now, I usually remember everything I've done/said when out and imbibing alcohol. Thus, having quite patchy memories of last night is a bit worrying. Especially since I can't at all remember the conversation my head of department and I had on the way home. Could be embarrassing on Monday. Hazy record of asking the long-time but unrequited love of my life to dinner. Stupid idiot's lost my number, though, so I'll have to ring him and arrange things.
That stopped me from being too irritated today, despite the hangover and my throroughly obnoxious flatmate, who's just got arsey about me watching the Last Night of the Proms because he's convinced one can watch it on the internet. Idiot. All he wants to do is watch the end of Sleepless in Seattle on video, for Christ's sake. After all the talking he does through anything we're watching, I think I have the right to watch something I watch every year that's on live. This morning, he interrogated me about the paying of the bills (had been waiting for a new chequebook) and the cleaning of the bathroom, which he accused me of not having done. Twat. What was really insulting was that he implied I had money problems and might need to borrow some to pay the bills. Considering I earn a vast amount more than he does and don't get kicked out of my job every week or so, I thought that a bit rich.
Spent the day with Jamie, discussing both of the above and wandering round the National Gallery. He's started slicking his hair back. Oh dear.
That stopped me from being too irritated today, despite the hangover and my throroughly obnoxious flatmate, who's just got arsey about me watching the Last Night of the Proms because he's convinced one can watch it on the internet. Idiot. All he wants to do is watch the end of Sleepless in Seattle on video, for Christ's sake. After all the talking he does through anything we're watching, I think I have the right to watch something I watch every year that's on live. This morning, he interrogated me about the paying of the bills (had been waiting for a new chequebook) and the cleaning of the bathroom, which he accused me of not having done. Twat. What was really insulting was that he implied I had money problems and might need to borrow some to pay the bills. Considering I earn a vast amount more than he does and don't get kicked out of my job every week or so, I thought that a bit rich.
Spent the day with Jamie, discussing both of the above and wandering round the National Gallery. He's started slicking his hair back. Oh dear.
05 September 2005
The greatest quality of mind next to honour...
The great landmark of the first day of the academic year has been passed. Fairly bloodlessly, happily. Not without a tiny bit of vomit, though. There this boy was, quite merrily chatting to his friend and copying down exercise book rules, he suddenly clamped both his hands over his mouth and proceeded to explode. All over my brand new classroom. No cause as yet determined. Call in House.
Other than that, I quite enjoyed today. The elevens had interesting things to do - the Trojan War and immortality - and the younger ones are all cute and co-operative. Doubt the honeyed haze will last for long.
Other than that, I quite enjoyed today. The elevens had interesting things to do - the Trojan War and immortality - and the younger ones are all cute and co-operative. Doubt the honeyed haze will last for long.
04 September 2005
Officially the hottest place in the country
Jamie came over for stew. He doesn't venture up here very often. Moaning and laziness, mainly. He'd forgotten he'd asked for stew (and soda bread), which, having spent three hours shopping and slaving proverbially over a stove, was not what I wanted to hear. Watched a reasonable film with Gael Garcia Bernal as a dodgy priest and read the Sunday Times. Interesting to see that Kanye West's taken up the race card with Bush. It's very obvious from the news pictures that most people left in NO are black. There're three hundred Britons out there too; consular staff aren't being let through. Two of my friends were out there literally a week before the hurricane hit - they've probably got some of the last pictures taken of the city as it was. Ah - some of the Brits are back. That's excellent. Can it be possible that a city in the US is having to ask for aid from NATO and the EU? Disgraceful.
Bush: "We need more manpower" - now where would that be, Georgie?
Rounding up the last few things to do before school starts properly tomorrow. I've written up a register rota, planned all four lessons and colour-coded my timetable. Could do with another holiday.
Bush: "We need more manpower" - now where would that be, Georgie?
Rounding up the last few things to do before school starts properly tomorrow. I've written up a register rota, planned all four lessons and colour-coded my timetable. Could do with another holiday.
03 September 2005
Ophelia's Cinema
(switches into the third person)
Ophelia has discovered that her dvd collection has reached disastrous proportions. Therefore, she's going to list them to shame herself into vowing never to buy another... until Kingdom of Heaven comes out next month.
1. Judas Kiss (watching it at the moment).
2. Kinsey
3. House of Flying Daggers
4. Master and Commander
5. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
6. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
7. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
8. Spartacus
9. Ben Hur
10. Gladiator
11. Cleopatra
12. Rasputin
13. Sebastiane
14. Quills
15. 10 Things I Hate About You
16. She's All That
17. Absolute Power (the BBC tv series, not the film)
18. Manchild (ditto, although I'm not sure there is a film of the same name...)
19. Pride and Prejudice (tritto)
20. Sense and Sensibility
21. Emma
22. Star Wars
23. The Empire Strikes Back
24. Return of the Jedi
25. Close My Eyes
26. Hero
27. Onegin
28. City of God
29. The Sound of Music
30. Shrek
31. Shrek 2
32. My Fair Lady
33. Amadeus
34. Blackadder (complete set)
35. Goodbye Mr Chips
36. Alexander
37. Dogma
38. Galaxy Quest
39. Austin Powers
40. AP: The Spy Who Shagged Me
41. AP: Goldmember
42. Vanity Fair
43. Being John Malkovich
44. Bridget Jones's Diary
45. The Edge of Reason
46. Chicago
47. Eddie Izzard: Sexie
48. A Knight's Tale
49. Buffy: Once More With Feeling
50. Moulin Rouge
51. Troy
52. Bright Young Things
53. Peter's Friends
54. The Sixth Sense
55. Cruel Intentions
56. Life of Brian
57. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
58. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
59. The Phantom of the Opera
60. Michael Collins
61. Intolerable Cruelty
62. A Midsummer Night's Dream
63. Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
64. LOTR: Two Towers
65. LOTR: Return of the King
66. Love Actually
67. The Hours
68. Merchant of Venice
69. Alfie
70. The Thorn Birds
... Oh my God. I actually didn't think I had quite that many. Prize for anyone who can work out the connection between the films in purple. Not that it's difficult. I can't find Love Actually: I'm thinking the flatmates have fed it to the goldfish. They've both gone to Windsor today, so relishing the rarity of being on my own.
Ophelia has discovered that her dvd collection has reached disastrous proportions. Therefore, she's going to list them to shame herself into vowing never to buy another... until Kingdom of Heaven comes out next month.
1. Judas Kiss (watching it at the moment).
2. Kinsey
3. House of Flying Daggers
4. Master and Commander
5. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
6. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
7. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
8. Spartacus
9. Ben Hur
10. Gladiator
11. Cleopatra
12. Rasputin
13. Sebastiane
14. Quills
15. 10 Things I Hate About You
16. She's All That
17. Absolute Power (the BBC tv series, not the film)
18. Manchild (ditto, although I'm not sure there is a film of the same name...)
19. Pride and Prejudice (tritto)
20. Sense and Sensibility
21. Emma
22. Star Wars
23. The Empire Strikes Back
24. Return of the Jedi
25. Close My Eyes
26. Hero
27. Onegin
28. City of God
29. The Sound of Music
30. Shrek
31. Shrek 2
32. My Fair Lady
33. Amadeus
34. Blackadder (complete set)
35. Goodbye Mr Chips
36. Alexander
37. Dogma
38. Galaxy Quest
39. Austin Powers
40. AP: The Spy Who Shagged Me
41. AP: Goldmember
42. Vanity Fair
43. Being John Malkovich
44. Bridget Jones's Diary
45. The Edge of Reason
46. Chicago
47. Eddie Izzard: Sexie
48. A Knight's Tale
49. Buffy: Once More With Feeling
50. Moulin Rouge
51. Troy
52. Bright Young Things
53. Peter's Friends
54. The Sixth Sense
55. Cruel Intentions
56. Life of Brian
57. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
58. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
59. The Phantom of the Opera
60. Michael Collins
61. Intolerable Cruelty
62. A Midsummer Night's Dream
63. Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
64. LOTR: Two Towers
65. LOTR: Return of the King
66. Love Actually
67. The Hours
68. Merchant of Venice
69. Alfie
70. The Thorn Birds
... Oh my God. I actually didn't think I had quite that many. Prize for anyone who can work out the connection between the films in purple. Not that it's difficult. I can't find Love Actually: I'm thinking the flatmates have fed it to the goldfish. They've both gone to Windsor today, so relishing the rarity of being on my own.
Two days back and I'm exhausted. Managed to sleep through the Simpsons, which I wasn't pleased about. Ungh. Just cut the inside of my lip with a slipped thumb nail. I cut my lip playing blind man's bluff once when I was about nine. The gunge that covered the cut for weeks afterwards was horrid. I couldn't help trying to bite it off, because having the rougher texture there was irritating.
I started feeling guilty about Dave. One of my friends at school was explaining how she'd broken up with her repetitive date because he didn't contact her for days. There was everyone nodding and agreeing that it was awful that he didn't think texting her between dates was necessary. Bloody men, and so on. I thought that was exactly what I was doing. However, given the intention that he not ask me out again, not necessarily a bad idea. He certainly didn't press it on msn this evening. My one word answers may have had something to do with it.
The little ones were in for the first time today. I say little - they're twelve. Zipped around trying to rope in the ones meant to be doing Ancient Greek, which failed, because they were all being dragged about on tours of the school. One of which was being conducted by one of the history teachers, who'd managed to split his trousers before his form arrived. Hard to believe, but apparently not one of them sniggered when they went up the stairs behind him.
Strange that it's the weekend again.
I started feeling guilty about Dave. One of my friends at school was explaining how she'd broken up with her repetitive date because he didn't contact her for days. There was everyone nodding and agreeing that it was awful that he didn't think texting her between dates was necessary. Bloody men, and so on. I thought that was exactly what I was doing. However, given the intention that he not ask me out again, not necessarily a bad idea. He certainly didn't press it on msn this evening. My one word answers may have had something to do with it.
The little ones were in for the first time today. I say little - they're twelve. Zipped around trying to rope in the ones meant to be doing Ancient Greek, which failed, because they were all being dragged about on tours of the school. One of which was being conducted by one of the history teachers, who'd managed to split his trousers before his form arrived. Hard to believe, but apparently not one of them sniggered when they went up the stairs behind him.
Strange that it's the weekend again.
01 September 2005
The Reluctant Headteacher
"Come on dear, it's time for you to get up and go to school!"
"But Muuummm.. I don't want to go!"
"You have to, James."
"Why?"
"Because you're the headmaster."
Not that unrealistic. Not proper school tomorrow, just training days, but getting up at half seven is still going to be horrific. Spent most of my last day of freedom sitting in the park reading Master and Commander and trying to get comfortable on my tartan picnic mat.
Still avoiding Dave. Badness. I'm starting to understand people who dump via text, condemned though they be.
"But Muuummm.. I don't want to go!"
"You have to, James."
"Why?"
"Because you're the headmaster."
Not that unrealistic. Not proper school tomorrow, just training days, but getting up at half seven is still going to be horrific. Spent most of my last day of freedom sitting in the park reading Master and Commander and trying to get comfortable on my tartan picnic mat.
Still avoiding Dave. Badness. I'm starting to understand people who dump via text, condemned though they be.
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