Mayor Uses Public Transport - Exclusive!

Okay, I actually have something interesting to record today.

Was coming back from Finchley Road on the Jubilee at about four. Opposite me was a grey-haired man with two small children and two teenagers. He had his coat pulled up over his face - one of those snowy weather big collar jobs. He also had the most awful cold (watching Mrs Henderson - think I've picked up her diction). Anyway, thought this odd, particularly as the half of his face that I could actually see looked a lot like Ken Livingstone.

He was eventually left with the two near-toddlers, one of whom was immersed in a book, the other had a snit and threw hers on the floor. Anyway, I've just looked up his kids' names and it turns out that it actually was Red Ken! Having a 2-year old daughter called Mia is reasonably distinctive.

Question is, what the hell was he doing using public transport to get to Willesden Green? Nice to see he thinks he needs to disguise himself, though.

More fun with the 1901 census

238 Harry Potters
23 Stephen Frys
2 Hugh Lauries
1 Jonathan Ross
300 + James Bonds
1 Victoria Pollard
29 Margaret Thatchers
5 Antony Blairs (all, oddly, from Allithwaite in Lancashire, aged between 0 and 66)
24 George W. Bushes
109 Bridget Joneses
300 + Elizabeth Bennetts
29 David Reeces

Because I clearly have nothing better to do (feel free to steal - I did)

1. WHAT CURSE WORD DO YOU USE THE MOST?
Bugger, probably, when I lower myself to swear in English, of course.
2. DO YOU OWN AN IPOD?
Nope, but I do have a 2-year old Sony Walkman, which is clearly superior. It contains the only music I can tolerate first thing in the morning.
3. WHAT PERSON ON YOUR LIST DO YOU TALK TO THE MOST?
Don't understand this. Given that the only people who read this are Dave and Des, though, I'd have to say them.
4. WHAT TIME IS Y0UR ALARM CLOCK SET TO?
6.25 (which gives me 35 minutes to get ready before leaving the flat. I'm not a brekker person).
5. DO YOU STILL REMEMBER THE FIRST PERSON YOU KISSED?
Vividly. Never mention it again. France has a lot to be sorry for.
6. DO YOU REMEMBER WHERE YOU WERE ON 9/11/01?
If you mean 11/09/01, I was at home, not at my summer job for once, watching the telly. My automatic reaction was flippancy - some kind of defence mechanism, I think.
7. WOULD YOU RATHER TAKE THE PICTURE OR BE IN THE PICTURE?
Take it, unless the picture is very flattering.... so take it, basically.
8. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
By the time I've finished this, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. The last film I went to see at the flicks was Stranger than Fiction at the weekend.
9. DO ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS HAVE CHILDREN?
Yep. F has a small daughter, whose name means moonlight.
10. HAS ANYONE EVER CALLED YOU LAZY?
Not so that I believed them.
11. DO YOU EVER TAKE MEDICATION TO HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP?
No, but I've thought of doing so, especially when the fuckwits in no. 10 leave their door to bang or have I'm a Celebrity on at top volume.
12. WHAT CD IS CURRENTLY IN YOUR CD PLAYER?
There actually isn't one in there at the moment. The last one was Bellowhead's album, Burlesque.
13. DO YOU PREFER REGULAR OR CHOCOLATE MILK?
Regular milk. Chocolate milk mings.
14. HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU A SECRET THIS WEEK?
15 year olds regularly tell me secrets. Doesn't mean I want to hear who they'd like to sit next to because they fancy them. Earplugs necessary.
15. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD STARBUCKS?
Sunday, before seeing the film mentioned in question 8. Gingerbread latte - mmmm.
16. CAN YOU WHISTLE?
I say yes, everyone else says demented tea kettle.
17. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Height, accent, risk of gayness.
18. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO?
The Christmas holidays and seeing Jamie at the weekend.
19. DID YOU WATCH CARTOONS AS A CHILD?
He-Man, She-Ra, Dogtanian, Willy Fogg, Thundercats, Ewoks, Cities of Gold, Gummi Bears... so yeah, basically.
23. DO YOU OWN ANY BAND T-SHIRTS?
I'm very pleased with my Sawdoctors one.
24. WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING IN ONE HOUR?
Probably trying to get hot water to come out of my shower.
25. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
If anyone is, they haven't told me. All men are bastards, anyway.
26. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU HEARD?
Something from City of Angels that I was listening to this morning.
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Was quite overwhelmed by the preview clips of the Choir in China next week. Yes, I know it's smirkworthy.
28. ARE YOU ON A DESKTOP COMPUTER OR A LAPTOP?
Laptop, gifted unto me by school.
29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY WANTING ANY PIERCINGS OR TATTOOS?
No.
30. WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?
Dunno - it's dark. Cold, though, and doesn't seem to be raining.
31. WOULD YOU EVER DATE A GIRL/GUY COVERED IN TATTOOS?
No.
32. WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE THIS?
Marked a pile of alternately illiterate and rather amusing yr 8 moral stories. Why do all children name their characters Bill or Bob?
33. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU SLEPT ON THE FLOOR?
Probably visiting Helen in Oxford at some point.
34. HOW MANY HOURS OF SLEEP DO YOU NEED TO FUNCTION?
More than I get. I was in a foul mood this morning.
35. DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST DAILY?
If you class a sandwich at 10.45 as breakfast, then yes.
36. ARE YOUR DAYS FAST-PACED?
Children come in, children go out, go to photocopier, eat sandwich, control chaos, sort out someone's computer, go to a meeting.... yah.
37. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
Watched telly and marked stories. Not that there's a pattern or anything.
38. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
No, of course not.
39. HOW OLD WILL YOU BE TURNING ON YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY?
25
40. ARE YOU PICKY ABOUT SPELLING AND GRAMMAR?
Yes. I think people who can't use apostrophes properly should be taken out and hanged.
41. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO SIX FLAGS?
Huh?
43. DO YOU GET ALONG BETTER WITH THE SAME SEX OR THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Both.
44. DO YOU LIKE MUSTARD?
Hell, yeah. Especially Dijon.
45. DO YOU SLEEP ON YOUR SIDE?
I think so, although I'm asleep at the time, so I might not.
46. DO YOU WATCH THE NEWS?
In the morning, if I have time. I do get a bit fed up of the Beeb's obsession with store cards, recycling and police dogs, though.
47. HOW DID YOU GET ONE OF YOUR SCARS?
Ex-boyfriend's big toenail (circular scar on my right big toe).
48. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU MAD?
You mean today? A colleague who called me away from what I was doing saying her computer wasn't working, when in actual fact all she'd not done was switched the sound on.
49. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
In what sense do you mean 'like'? If you mean in the romantic sense, it's not even worth bothering. All men are bastards. Mmm... apart from our lovely new trainee...
50. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU PURCHASED?
A travel cage for the hamster, so he can come home with me over Christmas.

Amusing results from the 1901 census

Firstly, there were six Oscar Wildes recorded in 1901, all young enough to have been named after the famous one!

Secondly, two Bertie Woosters (aged 4 and 6) and three Reginald Jeeveses (all under the age of 12) are recorded.

Friday

Have been given the job of entertaining the children on the last day of term. Luckily, this doesn't involve dressing up and playing the xylophone. Well... not me, anyway. Have been in a frenzy since Tuesday advertising the auditions, trying to find two kids to host the damn thing (succeeded) and organising the staff contribution, based on Grease.

See, now I wanted the Sound of Music, complete with goatherds and nuns, but the majority voted for cross-dressing and hair gel. However, our bald, male Sandy should be amusing. Must listen to the Grease Megamix and see how long it is.

In addition to this, my lunatic form have decided they want to hold a nativity play (these are 15 year olds, for God's sake!) and an animation festival. I handed over the Christmas tree to them to make. A crack team of three 'tree boffins' managed to decipher the colour-coded individual branch attaching instructions and make it look reasonable in a mere 30 minutes.

See how much I'm enjoying our collective day off, given the circumstances?

Today, I'm 24 and 5/12. Fancy that.

What I have to do to make sure I get enough sleep to function:

• Put the hamster in the bathroom and block any drafts.
• Turn the heating down.
• Not drink coffee past about nine.
• Not think about school.
• Be able to see the time when I do wake up, so I don't stress about not getting up in time.

Actually, I really need to get the hamster out so I can clean out his cage, but he's asleep. No wonder - he's probably worn out by all the gnawing he did last night on the bars.

When the rain clears up (the BBC weather forecast seems to not know about it), I must go across the road and see if I can procure a Christmas tree that my form won't sneer at. They get more ambitious every year.

The looming clouds

This is a very odd time to be writing. Really, I should be at school about to go to lunch (or probably to do more work). However, my chest isn't feeling too good. It kind of feels like someone's pressing a large, flat pebble into my breastbone. The result of a combination of cold last week and seasonal asthma. Having woken up like this, I thought four lessons would make it much worse, so I'm staying here in the warm instead. Also nice to have a decent amount of sleep for once.

Much progress with the small beast. he'll crawl up my arm and be picked up, now. I dreamt last night that I had a whole menagerie of two adult hamsters, a couple of rabbits, a dog, a cat and several baby versions of these all in one cage and they kept escaping. I'm sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere.

One other triumph, thanks to Facebook - I've found Sudeep! We haven't seen him in the eight years since we left school, after he emigrated to Florida.

Monday

A slightly morbid thought: there must be blogs floating around out there belonging to dead people. There's no time limit on posting. It's a bit like all those unused underground stations that feature in Bond films.

Ah - Edmund wakes. He's got very odd sleeping patterns. He doesn't seem to sleep for any great length of time, but naps for a bit, then goes for a run around his tubes, then comes back up to his nest again and curls up. He's nibbling rocket leaves at the moment and bits of wholemeal bread (Jamie brought it yesterday - putting it to much better use than eating it).

In tribute to Dave's tribute:

“Old Professors never die, they just lose their faculties.” (Stephen Fry)

A hamster's progress

Edmund's a quick learner. Woke up to find he'd transferred all his bedding from the ground storey of his palace to the domed penthouse at the top. He's also moved all his food up there. He's especially fond of peanuts.

He's currently learning to run around in his ball, having perfected his tube-climbing technique. Been letting him sniff my hand, but he's still a bit nervous at the prospect of being picked up. Might be able to get him out of his ball in a bit.

Spent afternoon reading the papers with Jamie. He thinks I'm justifiably cross. Doesn't seem to have realised that he can actually help, though. Aghh. Sometimes I'm grateful for school just as a distraction.

My new hero

Elton John!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6140710.stm

Also, I would like to see a representative of the National Secular Society standing with the religious representatives at the Cenotaph next year. Yet another example of the faithful being valued over the faithless.

My new roommate

This is the palace inhabited by Edmund. It took me an hour and a half to build. It's allegedly a fairground, but I haven't put the stickers on yet. Might not even bother. He has a little blue ball to run about in as well. Letting him get settled in before I take him out at all. That and I'm worried about losing him behind the furniture. He's very cute, though. He's currently mixing up his bedding and his food - really useful, Ed.

Am utterly pissed off. At mortally offended, teeth-grinding stage. Apparently I'm more of a social pariah than David. Jamie very helpfully observes that we tend not to be invited to impromptu gatherings, but can't explain why. Having to restrain self from texting Jen to ask whether I've offended her in some way, that she even invited David and not me. That would be mad, bad and dangerous. Wish I had a punchbag. No, really, put the phone down.

This is getting out of hand

How the utter hell have the colour of poppies become the province of religious idiots? We commemorate the dead, whose blood unquestionably flowed red. That's the symbolism of it - not to be tampered with or pulled into this madness in the press. It's not a matter of political correctness, it's a matter of biological correctness.

If one wears a white-centred poppy in honour of those executed with white squares pinned to their chests, then that's fair enough - that doesn't cheapen their honour or memory with religious claptrap.

Here's the link to the article on the BBC - see if it makes any sense at all to you:
http://http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6131464.stm

What the internet is really for: Part II

• Self-publicity
• Watching clips of 80s/90s tv programmes on YouTube
• Entertaining teenagers on Friday mornings
• Ordering shopping so you don't have to go out in the cold
• Distractions from doing actual work (various)
• Finding out about the Syrian hamster
• Looking at the news, because Teletext is too fiddly
• Hopes, dreams and aspirations.

Interesting how those who would condemn the death penalty in their own country quite happily subscribe to it when someone else is in charge of the noose.

Am seriously thinking about getting a hamster.

'ello Dave

Sitting in my new coat until the flat heats up, which may never happen. For an extremely small box, it's remarkably cold. Possibly a result of the two external walls.

Measuring for bridesmaids' dresses for Desdemona's wedding was much less tiresome than I'd expected it to be. It was a case of try on the fitting dress (which didn't fit me by the length of a small continent), have three measurements taken and wait for Des to pay, which took longer than all four of us being fitted. Choosing the colours was far more contentious, until we worked out that if the colours were a little bit darker than pastel, they'd go together much better and no one would have to wear the dreaded peach or yellow.

Des has agreed to a reading challenge. In exchange for her reading Dawkins cover to cover, I have to read 'The Case for Creation'. Know thy enemy, what.

And as Dante stood on the edge of the inferno...

The trip to Brussels was definitely a success. Possibly the most peaceful place I've ever been to that's also a seriously important capital city. Thought it was just the Sunday effect when I got there last week, but turned out that's just what the place is like. All the pedestrianised bits help, of course. Also the lack of people I was obliged to talk to. There is much truth in the idea that hell is other people who want me to do things (okay, so the first part of that isn't original).

A few seriously exciting moments:
1. Finding Dali's 'Temptation of St Anthony' in the Musee des Beaux Artes.
2. Listening to a choir practise in the cathedral.
3. The quayside in Ghent, which is one of the prettiest places in the world.

Brussels has a huge number of zebra crossings and touristy signposts - good thing. Some of the signposts don't point the right way and it's quite hard to identify individual buildings - bad thing. However, on the whole, a reasonably stress-free place to navigate.

The unjoy of the prospect of school tomorrow. Now that our GTP guy's returned to his own school, I have six extra lessons to teach, three of which are brats who'll need to be sat upon like a wary elephant on a carnivorous mouse. The other three are year 10, who I need to train to my way of doing things, because I've got them for the next two years. Sigh. Still, will be nice to see everyone.

Good for BA.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/14102006/140/worker-sue-ba-cross-row.html

Note how the government steps in...

Ah, it's this day again.

14th of October - six years since we matriculated. Also Jamie's 25th and the anniversary of the Battle of Hastings.

Well, I think the idea of romance with David is dead. Apparently the email wasn't supposed to be as propositional as it sounded. Or at least that's what he says. Still, given how much of an argumentative, moody, patronising, annoying, odd-gaited twat he was being last night, I'm not sure I care all that much. So God knows what all the flirtatiousness and strange conversations were about.

Talking of God, I've been reading the new Dawkins book, 'The God Delusion'. It's brilliant. Since I started reading it, I keep noticing the amount of pro-religious wording of things and attitudes in the press more. For example, there was a front-page article in the London Lite (eugh) last week about a man who'd been shot. The first thing one was told about the victim was that he was a 'committed Christian' - so I'm supposed to think him a more valuable member of the human race, then?? It's disgusting that people who believe unquestioningly in the haphazardly transmitted drivel of a minor religious sect can apparently be valued more highly than people who consider actual evidence a better reference point.

Don't even get me started on faith schools or George W. Bush.

Seemed to have reached a plateau with David. Maybe I should have told him about the blind date on Saturday (which really isn't going to produce results) - spur him into actually doing something. If that's what he wants to do. Jamie's not being in the least bit helpful. He could easily ferret around for information if he put his mind to it.

Busy week ahead.

Since it appears Demetrius reads this...

What the internet is really for:

• Watching music/lego videos on YouTube.
• Instant messaging.
• Finding a map of where that restaurant is.
• Buying out-of-print books on Ebay.
• Reading summaries of certain TV programmes that haven't yet been shown in the UK.
• Buying pink cycle jerseys.
• Discovering that the Star Wars version of Wikipedia is "Wookieepedia"!
• Researching mysterious Roman sesterces.

More to come...

Politics for a change

Prescott's growing on me.

The problems with saga-based romance potential

Let's call him David. I met David on the first day of our university interviews. We walked through the gate together, having found out that we came from the same part of the world. Over the next six years, I've discovered that he's stubborn, over-sensitive, a stickler for his brand of politeness, smarmy, manic depressive and severely lacks a sense of humour. He's also allergic to eggs, skinny and has an appalling mother.

We rowed for much of college. Then Jamie started lodging with him, so I see him all the time. I started thinking that I didn't want him to think I was a bitch any more. I wanted him to think better of me, just because I like to be liked, I guess. I bought his sister a congratulations card when she got into Oxford. Just tried to be nicer to him. I quite enjoy winding him up. He's asking if I want to have a drink with him on Friday, which I can't do anyway, because I'm watching the Big Brother Final with Jamie. Whether this is him just wanting to be friends or if it's meant to be a date, I don't know yet whether I want to go there.

Conquest of Mess

I'm trying to make my flat look a little bit less abandoned. May even stretch to dusting later. Couldn't urge myself to do it until today - it's taken all week to recover from Spain with the kids. The tour was eventful this year, to say the least. We witnessed a knife attack and subsequent arrest (and even furtherly subsequent nudity of the offender when his trousers fell off), one of the young 'uns was slapped in the face by a tiny Frenchman and one of the big 'uns almost did a striptease down the aisle of the coach along to 'You Sexy Thing'.

Spent Sunday and yesterday traversing the country to go to the wedding of a colleague (ugh. Hate that word), where I only really knew her. Apart from the Israeli dancing, was more bored than virtually ever before by the whole affair. I'm vowing never to go to a wedding alone ever again - it's just depressing. Jamie was invited, but the charge of potential weirdness was valid in this case. We keep getting invited to things as if we were a couple by my friends. Not useful.

So now I think I'll nip across the road to buy blutack, coat hangers, candles and a new plant to replace the one that finally died while I was in Spain.

The Curse of Clothes

Clothing is a serious problem for teachers. I got the heeby jeebies earlier this week reading a column in the TES. Seems that some schools object to their staff wearing anything with short sleeves. Wonder how they're dealing with the heat stroke epidemic.

At my school, anyway, the dress code's pretty straight-forward for men (we only have about 25 anyway), being suit and tie, as one might expect. For the prodominant female population, however, the decision isn't so easily made. No one other than trainees in their first week, NQTs in their first month and heads of department upwards wears what you might describe as office-smart, i.e. matching suit and blouse efforts. Everyone else comes in a variety of different flavours.

Take the officially award-winning best-dressed teacher: she admits to there being no difference between her evening wardrobe and her work wardrobe - she goes for the layered, sparkly, gypsy look with incredible shoes. Nice, but effortless only for her.

Then you've got the standard: dark trousers (usually black - teachers wear a hell of a lot of black) and a range of tops depending on the weather. The plague of suit-shorts prevailed for some time this year in certain quarters. Obviously, the standard for PE teachers is different.

Now, on INSET days and mufti days, this system is abolished. Everyone turns up in jeans (including the head) and my head of department wears her Dogmatix t-shirt. Conversely, you can tell when there's a parents' evening that day when everyone turns up looking slightly better cared for than usual.

Whatever you wear, you're still subject to judgement by the children, who don't hold back on venting about one's poor fashion choices. I admit that throwing their petition for me to go on 'What not to wear' across the room was a little childish, but they got the point. They haven't commented since.

A break in the deluge

The rain seems to have subsided for now. Got drenched four times last week walking to and from the station - which saved washing my hair, of course.

Currently staying at home for a few days. Am woken up at half past eight every morning by the builders next door, who're putting in a loft conversion seemingly right above my room. Somehow, my brother manages to sleep through this.

Amazing how time passes when you have nothing to do other than read and watch Big Brother. Sad about Posh George, by the way. As will Jamie be when he gets back from his latest not-so-far-flung destination.

Ophelia the Cleanin' Demon

When your books are falling on the floor, it's time to make a stand.

I'm not feeling too chipper at the moment. Living on one's own in London is just obnoxiously expensive, of which I'm reminded regularly every month. I don't even really understand how I manage to spend that much. Must devise a budget. Secondly, we discussed timetables for next year on Friday. The horror of eleven classes of twelve year olds is not to be underestimated when added to three extra-curricular classes. The only saving grace of the whole thing is that I'll only be teaching one yr 9, for which I'm thankful, given how much I loathe that entire year group.

Doing the whole big cleaning thing today. I'm shite at the whole domestic thing - no energy during the week and no inclination at the weekend. Also can't bring myself to walk along the corridor to get the hoover, in case I have to interact with the other inhabitants of the building. Not that I'm antisocial or anything... I just don't like talking to people. So there's lots of dusting and dustpan and brushing and sponging involved. Makes you appreciate seventeenth century maids so much more. Not that I've ever had one.

And exactly how many more lame Caesar/Sezer jokes can Big Brother produce??

Oo - Monday

Carrying on the book theme for now, this is what I have on the pile of books waiting to be read:
Michelangelo and the Pope's Ceiling, Ross King
The Ptolemies, Duncan Sprott
In the Company of the Courtesan, Sarah Dunant
Caesar, Adrian Goldsworthy
Machiavelli: A Man Misunderstood, Michael White
Three's Company: Alfred Duggan

Back to the dull horror of trying to sort out the main lower school trip today. Given that there are actually very few arrangements to be made, i.e. we're not taking them abroad and there's no coach to worry about, there are still an annoying number of forms to fill in. I hate forms. They require definite answers.

Oo - Sunday

Books bought: 5 (oh dear). One of these is a present, though... does that help?

Discovered a fab independent bookshop in Hampstead (opposite Hampstead Heath station) called Daunt. Almost everything (including some fiction) is divided into country of origin or theme. For example, one might find guide books to Rome, Machiavelli and Virgil all under Italy. There's a cave for children's books at the back, which I'd have been dead excited about when I was six.

I'm suffering a severe lack of bookshelf space. You see, if the spare wardrobe were to be moved out, I could probably fit in another bookshelf on that wall...

Everything's all pink and sunny

Thanks, Chris!

I love local elections: means school is closed, so I've not had to wake up at the crack of dawn and have had time to get my hair cut at last. Felt under some strange kind of obligation to have it long for Des's wedding, but will only end up feeling bitter. Much nicer having it short, even though it'll take ages to liven up every morning. Doubtless Mother will hate it.

Former Flatmate is leaving the school to return to the land of kilts and haggis. Horrid though it sounds, I'm quite glad. I haven't been able to bring myself to have a proper conversation with her since we moved out, just in case she mentions the bastard her boyfriend. You never know - the next head of Business Studies (hmm... B.S. - telling) might be male: that'd make a change.

Interesting biological discovery made this week: I have a dorsal gangylion (sp.?) on my right wrist. I'd never heard of these before, but apparently they're a kind of cyst, and will go away over time. People in the past used to hit them with a book. I tried this with the spine of 'Introducing Cicero', but only ended up with pain.

Loving the summer weather, although I really need to go shopping for a suitable wardrobe to cope with it!

The New Attic

There's a reason I've been away for so long - no internet connection in the new attic until today. Surprisingly, I haven't gone totally mad without one - and, indeed, I've done much more interesting and useful things, like painting.